I'm A Man, I Can Fix That...
Don't have a spoon?
I can fix that!
Seatbelt broken?
I can fix that!
(Is that a neck brace you have on?)
New TV too big for the old cabinet?
I can fix that!
No bottle opener?
I can fix that!
Room too dark using compact fluorescents?
I can fix that!
Electrical problem?
I can fix that!
Car stereo stolen?
I can fix that!
Bookshelf cracking under the weight?
I can fix that!
No ice chest?
I can fix that!
Can't read the ATM screen?
I can fix that!
Car imported from the wrong country?
I can fix that!
Satellite go out in the rain?
I can fix that!
Electric stove broken & can't heat coffee?
I fixed that.
Wiper motor burned out?
I can fix that!
WTF?
Display rack falling over?
I can fix that!
Desk overloaded?
I can fix that!
Car can't be ordered with the "Woody" option?
I can fix that!
Exhaust pipe dragging?
I can fix that!
Gotta feed the baby AND do the laundry?
I can fix that!
Cables falling behind the desk?
I can fix that!
No skate park in town?
I can fix that!
and - last but not least - - - -
Out of diapers?
I can fix that!
